Shops are all back in business, the government decided to not continue with the strict restriction. For my sister’s excitement, cinema and karaoke are back in business as well.
I watched the movie Death to 2020 on Netflix before the 2020 ends. To my profound impression was the last line of the movie “It tested us, but maybe it taught us too
For a place that you were free to in and out anytime (as long as it’s in operation hour) to just the thought of going in had already excited you, I guess we really learned how to appreciate little things in life now.

I’ve been in my new job position for over a month now, the real madness hasn’t started yet but I am not worried about it since it will only make me suffer twice. “Let whatever will happen, happen” is my new motto.


Hello from post-CNY (well it hasn’t officially finished yet but we all are back to work so, in my sense, CNY has already finished)

This year came especially quiet we don’t get to travel to visit my relatives as we always do for the new year all my life except a very few occasions. Ten years later, if I were to recall how I spent my new year in 2021 all I can think of is: eat, drink, watch TV.

In this pandemic, I miss even the tiny details of a boring usual day I had in the past.

Happy Chinese New Year, whether or not you celebrate it!


February starts off with a new changes, I got transferred to another position after working in this company for several years. Not gonna lie, I wasn’t expected it to happen, I can feel somehow a change is on its way, I just never thought it will manifest, coming from a person who always had many many premonitions lingering around her.

Nothing much happened asides from work and normal daily life (somehow I am glad), our country are still in the MCO with lots of lots of business operation as usual. This year might just be another 2020.

2020, Kukup

Just discovered I have a roll of film I got developed a few months back then that I have forgotten to share, it was all shot during the last cuti-cuti Malaysia (Holiday in Malaysia) season when the second/third wave of corona have yet to strike. Everywhere was crowded with lots of exciting tourists that had before been caged at home for 4-5 months. It was not a place that was very far away from where I lived so technically we are not actually travelling. I have left out those pictures who included faces in it. Enjoy the view as for now we cannot go anywhere (again).

The disheartening fact from the development of this film roll was that because I took out the battery when I am not using the camera, which was strongly unadvised by the previous owner of this camera yet I still do, I have many blank shots resulted from the constantly putting in out pulling out the battery. Lessons always learned in a hard way.

Here we go again

Entering this year with the news of one of my friends broke up with her young boyfriend. It was started all sweet and it’s the most desirable type of relationship that she wants but it ended up being off-balanced: a clingy boyfriend and an independent girlfriend. Neither of them is a bad lover, things could have been better if they were both about the same age and had the same vision for their own future, this happened a lot in a relationship. I asked whether it was worth it? All the hassle bustle she went through for this last year. But at the same time, if this all weren’t had happened, knowing that all of the things she now got and about to have wouldn’t have happened, I guess for her it was all worth it, not sure about her younger-ex though.

I am a year older than I was before and more and more people urging me to take the conventional life path, I am being unbothered every time, each year passes, and the thing I witnessed only made me certain of my current choices. Life is neither short nor long, everyone got an unequal amount of time they have living in their shell (own body), and on this planet called earth. Down the road, many things will come along. I wouldn’t foresee the person I am talking to now as someone I’ll know or even befriend with a year ago so why bother? Just wanted people to know I am all for love and always supporting people’s life choices if what I wrote sounded kind of offensive, please note that I have no ill-intention.

Here we go again, MCO 2.0 with a more flexible ban this time. We go from ONLY Work from home to now we can work in our workplace but only 30% of the total employees are allowed one time in the office, but still, you can’t travel outside the parameter of 10km from where you lived unless you are going to work. Just when you thought 2021 will going to be slightly better and this hits. Things are a lot harder when you got 2 family members involved in this pandemic. I can only sigh.

My 2020

Entering this year reading André Aciman, Find Me and exiting this year reading Dance!Dance!Dance! by Haruki Murakami (I am still reading it even though I felt like I had been reading this since forever, I really like this book though)

Due to the extensive amount of time we got this year because of the movement control order, I read more than any year before and picked up new skills.

My spotify yearly summary shows that I am still an avid listener of k-pop genre and a new-founded fact of myself is that I am also a faithful listener of modern rock, to which I acknowledge. I will never get tired of the heavy bass sound. I also discovered a lot of new artist this year, be it on the mainstream media or underground/indie. My favorite music video has to be BTS’s latest release track Life Goes On in the music video of Like An Arrow version. The photos in this version of music video reminds me a lot from my favorite album of them.

I am still journalling every now and then, I used to do it everyday, I am doubting my ability of time arrangement, I felt like I am on idle mode all the time but then I can’t spare a good 5 – 10 minutes to clear my head after a long day by writing some words down on a page, I am reflecting myself just like me reading the past log, blogging is a great way too, I am seriously wishing people doing more of blogging in 2021, love to read people’s thought.

Some said passport is the most useless thing in 2020, I agreed to some point. I didn’t go anywhere, not even after the strict movement control order dropped when even government encouraged its citizen to travel within the country, help boosting the economy. The people around me were flying here and there, I expect a huge rises of the confirmed cases a couple weeks down the line. I won’t be complaining about the ban like some of my acquaintence did for first I am not rich and second I am not a person who rely on traveling to “recharge” myself (a spiritual way to describe travel, how funny) and I certainly don’t make money on creating travel content that people loves to watch.

While I am sitting comfortably on my bed thinking and writing this article you are reading it right now from any corner in the world, sitting or lying in a comfortable and safe space, there’s people out there fighting for their life or fighting for other’s life. In my heart, I couldn’t stop expressing my gratitude and appreciation to every tough, kind and considerate soul and felt sorry for those who lost someone in this pandemic.

This year had been one hell of a year. For one side it felt like the last year was a decade away from now but on the other side it felt like this year has never exist though so much has happened and still happening, you got no memory, everything is just blurred, repeated in a loop. This year is over, what would next year hold? I am excited to see what Neil Gaiman’s have to say for this year.

2021, stay safe and healthy everyone, thank you for whoever stop by in the enormous internet and spend some of your time reading what I got to say. Happy happy New Year.

Social media on and off

Friend showing the flashy sides of their life; whine on internet; seeking for the fake instatenous, forgettable attention on the internet, ignore the real people who stood with them; act certain way create the unattainable but tasteless aura so on and so forth, so tiring.

Then again, maybe I myself are not any different than those who portrayed a certain image on the internet. If i got tired of this social media shit someday i will just deactivate the whole thing though it’s not like I am super active on any of my social media account. Blog are the best but I guess these days people just doesn’t read anymore.

Merry Christmas to all my reader wherever you come from.

Never Ending Corona

It’s mid-December now. It’s that time of a year again, Holiday Season. Confirmed cases rising every day but No more travel restriction within the peninsular but still SOP had to adhere. People around me are using their whole body and soul telling me that they don’t care about the pandemic anymore, after all, life goes on. Only death will stop life.

No more throwback photo for this update, I will post it sometime later. I should get my film roll developed even though I still have some shots left on it. I am reading some Haruki Murakami books, it’s so good. I also spent a lot of time thinking and doodling, starting a new business but that ain’t easy. I’ll figure it out.

As always, thank you to everyone who came to my blog and read my thoughts. Merry Christmas.

2019, Desaru

There was a photo exhibition held around my town last year, I submitted some photos included some shown above. Unfortunately, there were too many great competent and my submission didn’t make it to the wall-hanging, but the organiser, kind is him, printed out all the submission into a postcard size and I am guessing it is free to take as many home with them for whoever visited the exhibition (I am certain about the printed out part, I didn’t visit the exhibition due to my poor health last year) perhaps, now some of the photos I took is lying inside someone’s drawer, that I wouldn’t know. Above photo were the last batch of photo I took on that Vivitar P&S camera before I sold it off.

December is approaching, a year went by just like that. The above photos were taken more than a year ago. We wanted to do this trip before my friend’s labor and that baby just turned 1 yesterday.

Three months in complete locked down and still some places are on partially locked down the minute I am typing. Schools open and closed and reopen and who know what will comes next.


These days I have been busy with real life. I am learning new skills, I devote all my free time to practice. At work, when I am not busy, I am either writing or learn to draw, to get a hold of it (I realize if I want to be good at what I am about to do, I need to be good at drawing too)

The above photos were taken a few years back at F1 in Singapore. It was the first time of myself doing a solo trip even though just to Singapore, a place where just a sea apart from where I lived, still it gave me a refreshing feeling so I do a few more afterward. With just me and my big DSLR, I went to a museum, looking at art, observed the surrounding, enjoyed the music and talking to people. It was very nice, too bad I brought the wrong lens and the setting of the camera was wrong (I was just started taking photos using M mode then) so some of the photos came out straightly dark, I can only save it in the post-processing. I got a free entry to the museum because of F1, met a nice girl in the hostel and we still talk to each other sometimes now, stayed in my then-friend house for a night and played with her dog.

Looking back thinking of this, I’m still kind of amazed by the fact that I done this (I know there will be people who got bigger achievement than I have but give me the credit!). Wandering in a city, going to a festival alone. But I loved every bit of it, from the preparation to the execution. If it weren’t for COVID, I will just get back from my trip to Taiwan and my friend will be in Jeju now, DAMN COVID!