Parting season

With the last minute lockdown announced came a very abrupt end, though the possibility was always crawling under everyone skin. With the outbreak, for the past few weeks we were as if in a marathon race, racing with Covid and still the pandemic gets the best of this country and every plan needs to be re-adjust which is totally sucks.

Those times we spent hiding or fighting against something intangible could’ve been use to create memories but instead some people had became a memory to others. My heart breaks every time when I think of this.

Where did it came from? How long will it stay? When will this end? Why? Why? Why? Endless questions and painful reality. Just gotta embrace it because there’s no other way.

We all needs to chill

Pun intended.

Go out and chill if you can, stay home and be chill when you are not allowed to go out. Either way, just chill

I wanted to capture the amazing color transition of my friend’s hair but then I remembered I got a B&W film inside of my film camera, it was gold and the tail was violet, amazing. The stay was amazing from the BnB to the view, the cityscape and the tranquility at night (mostly thanks to CO-VID), this film makes the picture look like it was jumped out from the 50s, 60s movie we saw but it’s not. The flash clashes with the natural lighting, makes the picture looks as if it was captured under the gloomy weather but it’s actually not, it was captured during the sunset and also when the sunrise

I used to take pictures with what’s the normal exposure, what’s the perfect framing and all that “photographer” things in my mind but then the picture looks neither what I had in my mind nor what I like, there’s no ME inside but now I am just doing what I like and I feel liberated.

Photo taken on Konica K-mini with Shanghai GP3 400

Enjoy your life; Take risk!

I spend this year’s birthday with my dearest friend and I had a great one, thank you two for the gift and the flower, words cannot express how happy I am about the nice surprise.

I once brainwashed by people telling me we will stop making rEAl friend the moment we stepped out of school and there will be no real friendship forged in the workplace and your high school friend(S) will be the best best friend you will have throughout your entire life, while part of it was later proved true most of the thing they told me was just based on their own experience and ignoring the fact that people are different and environment changed and people thinking evolved. Shits happened at my workplace and I couldn’t remember how many times that I turned to my friend at work place for help, support, and comfort, I am just grateful that I have people by my side.

Happy belated birthday to myself.

Recording memories

Just got my film roll back and the result is… hardly acceptable (the problem lies wholly in me). I will share some of it in this blog soon, just need some time to sort it out and post-edit it a little bit, maybe some light and dark and pulls away some grain.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a black and white film person and I am always indoors, hardly go outside, let alone the things that happening now which stop more of us from taste the natural. Thinking of selling my Konica camera point and shoot away, I think the camera will fit more partygoer because of the always-on-can’t-turn-off flashlight, it will do well with parties and fits the personality well with a partygoer. The flash ruined all the things for me.

Sometimes having too many cameras will distract you from doing the right thing because most of the time you have already spent it on deciding which camera to use. When I first started out shooting film, I brought 3 camera to a 5 day 4 night trip (2 points and shoot camera and 1 SLR camera, and many rolls of film and spare batteries) I was THAT passionate and dedicated, and when I go to Korea I bring neither of the film cameras because I got OMD EM10 Mark 3 for that trip.

I was thinking of taking photo and recording at the same time and I got kind of overwhelmed and frustrated about that because wanting to do all will often times result done nothing which in my case it is kind of truth.

I also went to the film lab opening last weekend, it is so amazing to see so many filmography shooter in one space, I am amazed! And most importantly, I don’t need to mail my rolls far to get it develop anymore and I don’t need to shop online for film roll anymore to which I remember when I first started out I couldn’t find any in my local area.

So I’ve decided, for the upcoming trip, I am just going to bring my cellphone and 1 SLR camera, just one! And shooting sometimes at night… it will be challenging… for sure.

Time passed really fast when you hit 25 years old. Was through with one hectic Monday and got the Tuesday as a public holiday for our state, so I spend it as a recuperating day to recover from the chaos I’ve just gone through on the day before.

Started the next day (Wednesday) with ungrateful people ranting about the free service he has got. Sometimes you just can’t use the compassionate heart you have for others to some specific people. Having to put up with these things on an almost daily basis drained me, I just wished people have more gratitude.

If you are a long-time visitor of my blog, you will know that I have mentioned more than one time that English is not my first language, I speak Mandarin growing up hence grammar error in some of my posts. I can handle it if communicating in the second language with people on daily basis but not on the day I do excessively, I can still handle it but it will reach a point that my brain just stops functioning, I am still receiving but I just can’t convey the message anymore. Those who speak more than one language will resonate with me. But I am and always still, trying my best.

11F Art week

I sat down and opened my computer and want to write something but I wrote nothing instead. I go on YouTube, watched some videos from my favorite YouTuber, and came back here to jot down my thought.

I met with a friend last weekend, I haven’t seen her for half a year now because of the MCO, she’s always my best buddy to hang around the art event in this city. She’s moving her online business to offline as well with a physical store open which I’m really excited and happy for her.

I got a hibiscus tattoo on the outer side of my left arm I have been thinking of doing it for months now which I loved so much. I love the flower language of hibiscus, It just happens to be our national flower but I’m not doing it because of my love for this country.

The event was pretty fun, I didn’t take many pictures as there’s already many on the internet, I enjoyed the time hanging out with my friends and out at night. Talking to different people is always fun, communicating is fun. And also received some shocking news, underneath a calm big sea are usually a catastrophe in making. What are we to say?

Reading reading I will try to do more reading, the spiritual me needs nutrition. There are so many things that I wanted to do but as always, so little time.

I love reading news recently, all types of news though some news unsettling me. Knowledge is power so do knowing things that going on around the world.

Just a sec

It’s been a while since I last updated. Recently I’ve been busying with my work and just focusing on thinking about work stuff makes me have almost no time to stop and give time to my own thought for a sec but keep working and working all the time, just move forward with WORK. No time for my thought because I’m either working or resting which I don’t really like because I know that I am the type of person who will occasionally need a pause, I am still trying to figure out how to balancing out and fits in the thing that I want to do in a day every day so that I won’t be thinking about death all the time (not killing myself kind of death but decaying or withering kind of dead)

I haven’t been very active in shooting film or digital that because of life I have almost given up but then again I met more and more people that are interested in photography and eventually get back on it (used to be really lonely when the market haven’t become so active). I still bring my little point and shoot to every occasion but I just took maybe 2 – 3 picture each time so it will take a long time for me to finish a roll and I am not a big fan of just firing the shutter without really think and rushes to finish a roll so that I can have a look on the 2 -3 pictures that I anticipated to see and with the rest of the photo I don’t really care about which I hate to do that so I won’t do that.

I am also very grateful that the appreciation I have received in my current state. I used to really admired people with a DGAF attitude be it staged or real but then again I know this attitude doesn’t fit in with my natural self and if you are in the wrong fit things could only get worse so instead of acting like someone who isn’t true to yourself we better just follow our own nature which will eventually lead us to the road that best suited us, I just hope more people know this. I am quoting a quote I’ve seen online which in literal English translation is (it’s in mandarin): How people talked about you behind your back isn’t you but how you treated people, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote this day.

Recent interest is watching old movies (which always been part of me) and read articles that published on the WeChat official account on Ipad. I was watching a video of how to strengthen your brain on the internet the other day and one of the points is learning new stuff that you have not previous experience with, it will develop your brain and lower the risk of you getting dementia and Alzheimer, I am always learning things mainly because I am curious and has a vast interest in many things, I am a self-defined Jack of all trade which to my family agreed because they have always witnessed me learning new things and stop doing after a long while, but what they don’t know is I have always carry the skills/ knowledge/ experience with me, I just don’t know when to showcase those but I like to learn new things.

Seems like a long rant but a decompress is always good for me, thank you to whoever stops by and read this, have a good day.

Reopening

Shops are all back in business, the government decided to not continue with the strict restriction. For my sister’s excitement, cinema and karaoke are back in business as well.
I watched the movie Death to 2020 on Netflix before the 2020 ends. To my profound impression was the last line of the movie “It tested us, but maybe it taught us too
For a place that you were free to in and out anytime (as long as it’s in operation hour) to just the thought of going in had already excited you, I guess we really learned how to appreciate little things in life now.

I’ve been in my new job position for over a month now, the real madness hasn’t started yet but I am not worried about it since it will only make me suffer twice. “Let whatever will happen, happen” is my new motto.

CNY

Hello from post-CNY (well it hasn’t officially finished yet but we all are back to work so, in my sense, CNY has already finished)

This year came especially quiet we don’t get to travel to visit my relatives as we always do for the new year all my life except a very few occasions. Ten years later, if I were to recall how I spent my new year in 2021 all I can think of is: eat, drink, watch TV.

In this pandemic, I miss even the tiny details of a boring usual day I had in the past.

Happy Chinese New Year, whether or not you celebrate it!

February

February starts off with a new changes, I got transferred to another position after working in this company for several years. Not gonna lie, I wasn’t expected it to happen, I can feel somehow a change is on its way, I just never thought it will manifest, coming from a person who always had many many premonitions lingering around her.

Nothing much happened asides from work and normal daily life (somehow I am glad), our country are still in the MCO with lots of lots of business operation as usual. This year might just be another 2020.